And you thought the wedding anniversary post was bad...

Today marks 9 years since I decided to date the jerk I'm now married to. And he was so pushy about it! No "wanna go out with me?" or "would you like to be my girlfriend?" Psssh. He was just all like, "We're dating now." He's lucky that I was so besotted with him that I just went along with it.

I guess 9 years is a decently long time to be together. We've definitely moved past any sense of awkwardness between us. Those first couple years of always trying to look our best for one another and hiding the fact that our bodies ever produced anything besides the most pleasant of smells have given way to holding back one another's hair while tossing our cookies and braving the almost tangible stench the other has corrupted the bathroom with because they can't reach the new roll of toilet paper they desperately need.

Dress pants and nice shirts have given way to lounge pants and old lady nightgowns. Date nights happen at home now rather than out on the town. And the time of trying to hide every flaw has settled into a cozy comfort of each other as a whole, not perfect person.

We've both changed a lot. We've know each other for over a decade. It was bound to happen, right? We've weathered many an emotional upheaval and have survived a complete 180 on world views with our relationship intact. We've gone through loss and new life. And through it all, we've had each other. We've been one another's constant companion, closest friend, and lover for 9 years now.

We've become almost completely different people than when we first came together. And that's okay. We're lucky in that we've changed together. We know what the other person has been and seen what they've become. Throughout all the changes, we've still managed to find ourselves in love with the other.

And some things haven't changed. We still try to make the other laugh at every possible opportunity. We still have long discussions on any topic that strikes our fancy. I'm still the creative half, and he my logical counterpart.

We've managed to build a strong relationship built on trust, love, and laughter.

I may not know what life is going to throw our way over the next 9 years, but I know that as long as we have each other, we'll get through it just fine.

Happy anniversary, John.

Chapel Hill, North Carolina

In light of the Chapel Hill shootings, I feel like this needs to be said. There is NO ROOM in the atheist and secular humanist communities for violent, hateful people. We are not against people, we stand against dogma. We stand against violence committed by ANYONE, regardless of beliefs or lack thereof. 

Open and honest discussion should be our way. And our goals are not the forceful, violent eradication of religious persons, but rather a society that concerns itself more with the world around them rather than mythological figures and a possible afterlife. And that, my friends, is accomplished not with violence, but through learning.

Please consider making a donation to Foundation Beyond Belief's drive for SAMS (Syrian American Medical Society). 

From the page: "On February 10, three Muslim college students were tragically killed in Chapel Hill, North Carolina by a man who identifies as an atheist. Atheists and humanists around the world are condemning the horrific act that took the lives of Deah Shaddy Barakat (23), his wife Yusor Mohammad (21), and her sister Razan Mohammad Abu-Salha (19).

Deah Barakat was pursuing his doctorate in dentistry at UNC Chapel Hill and planned to travel to Syrian refugee camps this summer to perform emergency dentistry for refugee children through the Syrian American Medical Society Foundation (SAMS). At the time of his death, he was raising funds for SAMS to equip the teams in the refugee camps.

The atheist and humanist community is mounting a drive for SAMS in support of Deah's vision. All donated funds will go directly to the Syrian American Medical Society Foundation to honor the lives and celebrate the memory of Deah, Yusor, and Razan. Please give generously."